Thursday, July 26, 2012

10 Celebrities Who Probably Aren't Randall Flagg, BUT...

I'm guessing that Randall Flagg doesn't exist. I mean, he's a fictional character and all, so it seems unlikely.

However, in the event that the superflu breaks out tomorrow, here are ten celebrities we need to immediately start keeping an eye on:


Rafael Furcal

Likelihood:  3/10  (Flagg probably wouldn't be a baseball player.  Too apple-pie for him.)




Rick Fox
Likelihood:  6/10  (Somebody this handsome HAS to be at least a little evil.)


Robbie Fowler
Likelihood:  1/10  (Once played for Liverpool, home of The Beatles, who are probably not associated with otherworldly evil in even the loosest way.)






Russell Ferguson
Likelihood:  7/10  (Reality-television star, so odds are decent.)






Rupert Friend in The Young Victoria
Likelihood:  5/10  (Co-starred in The Libertine, a terrible film; co-starred in the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, a terrific film.  Too close to call.)






Ron Funches
Likelihood:  9/10  (Relatively obscure comic; the lack of notoriety fits Flagg's style.  Beware!)






Robert Frost
Likelihood:  1/10  (Deceased)






Robert Forster in Jackie Brown
Likelihood:  9/10  (Too awesome in Jackie Brown to be pure evil.  However, he survived passage through a black hole in The Black Hole, and if that doesn't equal the potential for supernatural malevolence, I don't know what does.)






Ric Flair
Likelihood: 8/10  (Billed himself as "Nature Boy," which fits in with Flagg's hippie tendencies.  Also: WHOO!!!!!)






Ralph Fiennes
 Likelihood: 10/10  (Voldemort.)

2 comments:

  1. I love it.

    I could easily see this list spiraling out of control... so many potential-Flaggs, so little time!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As far as I can tell, you are the only person who even got the joke!

      It made ME chuckle, though, so I'm happy with it.

      Delete