Spam-Comments Inventory

I don't get a huge number of spam comments, but a few trickle through every once in a while.  Mostly, they appear to be written by folks whose grasp of the English language is -- at best -- shaky, and they tend to make a sort of lame stab at being conversational before then dropping a link to some site they want people to visit.

These spam comments charm me in some weird way, and, for no better reason than that it amuses me to do so, I think I'll start keeping a log of them.

Here goes:

June 28, 2014

Anonymous says:

"Was in actual fact looking for just an average shower enclosures during which I came across this web site, wouldn't have any idea there were such a thing as a 'steam shower enclosure', wow, may very welljust may have to get one
  
Also visit my web site ... steam shower units (link removed)"

I am unsure what this may have had to do with the review of Carrie where the comment was left, but I wish Anonymous well in his/her search for a "steam shower enclosure."

July 1, 2014

neha bk says:

"This book is really a good book which shows us right path. but i read one more book named "ONE BOOK FOR LIFE SUCCESS" which is truly motivational and life changing . .The writer has described in Plain English with lot of examples which is easy to understand...For More Please watch the video (link removed)"

Nope, I'm good.  Thanks anyways, neha bk.

July 3, 2014

Galaxy Club says:

"The blog was stunning to see and looks different to see the blog.Thanks for sharing the information with us.  (link removed)"


The link was titled "Long Stay in Bangalor," which sounds dirty even if it isn't.

July 19, 2014

Anonymous says:

"If you want to increase your know-how only keep visiting this site and be updated with the hottest news posted here.
 
Also visit my site (link removed)"

July 23, 2014

Anonymous says:

"First of all I want to say superb blog! I had a quick question in which I'd like to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your head before writing. I have had a difficult time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out. I truly do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually lost just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints?
 
Cheers!
 
Here is my web page; (link removed)"

Anonymous, thanks for writing!  However, since my head is mostly filled with the sound of static at all times, I'm not sure I'd be qualified to offer you any useful advice.

August 6, 2014

Anonymous says:

"Hi! Do you use Twitter? I'd like to follow you if that would be okay.  I'm absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.
 
Feel free to visit my page; mens wrinkle cream" (link removed)

I appreciate the invitation, but while I do indeed have a Twitter account, I mostly think Twitter is a colossal waste of time and avoid it like the plague.  Also, I have no use for "mens wrinkle cream," so that's a no-go on visiting that site.

August 7, 2014

This is not technically a spam comment, but I think I'll include it anyways.

jose romulo batista junior says:

"Jose Rômulo batista Junior 16 ano eu faze 20 ano e gosto de você meu pia 20 ano gote do cabelo do copo seu da soa all our dimberlg and bella Oliver eu gote sua ropa do vei visita dez eu gote sua ropa dovei visita dez 28/12 a nivecalho meu Jose Rômulo batista Junior 7.45 ora eu gau você
 
Jose Rômulo batista Junior domi casa 30 dia casa natao comigo casa milha finilia dez dia25 2013 eu telho um cachorro toto eu tenho dezecete anos 17 jose romulo batista junior28/12 a nivecalho meu Jose Rômulo batista Junior 7.45 ora eu gau você
 
Jose Rômulo batista Junior domi casa 30 diajose romulo batista junor Antonio Banderas far jose romulo batista pacipa do fime ceu gupo ome eu jose romulo batista juior anos 17 anos jose romulo batista juniorJose Rômulo batista Junior 16 ano eu faze 20 ano gosto de você meu pia 20visita dez 28/12 a nivecalho meu Jose Rômulo batista Junior 7.45 o gosto de você meu pia 20 ano gote do cabelo do eu telho dezeano jose romulo batista junior repotas do fime eu quero pacipa do fime jose romulo batista junior sim anoJose Rômulo batista Junior domi casa 30 diaJose Rômulo batista Junior 16 ano eu faze 20 ano e gosto de você meu pia 20 ano gote do cabelo do copo seu da soa all our dimberlg and bella Oliver eu gote sua ropa do vei visita dez 28/12 a nivecalho meu Jose Rômulo ba... Ver mais granville rua gv 25qd 40 lt08 teltfone 32782033 jose romulo batista junior anos 17 pai jose romulo batista maria augusta magalhaes Jose Rômulo batista Junior 16 ano eu faze 20 ano e gosto de você meu pia 20 ano gote do cabelo do copo seu da soa all our dimberlg and bella Oliver eu gote sua ropa do vei visita dez eu gote sua ropa dovei visita dez 28/12 a nivecalho meu Jose Rômulo batista Junior 7.45 ora eu gau você
 
Jose Rômulo batista Junior domi casa 30 dia casa natao comigo casa milha finilia dez dia25 2013 eu telho um cachorro toto eu tenho dezecete anos 17 jose romulo batista junior28/12 a nivecalho meu Jose Rômulo batista Junior 7.45 ora eu gau você
 
Jose Rômulo batista Junior domi casa 30 diajose romulo batista junor Antonio Banderas far jose romulo batista pacipa do fime ceu gupo ome eu jose romulo batista juior anos 17 anos jose romulo batista juniorJose Rômulo batista Junior 16 ano eu faze 20 ano gosto de você meu pia 20visita dez 28/12 a nivecalho meu Jose Rômulo batista Junior 7.45 o gosto de você meu pia 20 ano gote do cabelo do eu telho dezeano jose romulo batista junior repotas do fime eu quero pacipa do fime jose romulo batista junior sim anoJose Rômulo batista Junior domi casa 30 diaJose Rômulo batista Junior 16 ano eu faze 20 ano e gosto de você meu pia 20 ano gote do cabelo do copo seu da soa all our dimberlg and bella Oliver eu gote sua ropa do vei visita dez 28/12 a nivecalho meu Jose Rômulo ba... Ver mais granville rua gv 25qd 40 lt08 teltfone 32782033 jose romulo batista junior anos 17 pai jose romulo batista maria augusta magalhaes vei logo para jose romulo batista junior casa"

I don't speak enough Spanish to have the faintest clue what is being said there, but I don't see anything related to Stephen King, or to the post about the movie version of Bag of Bones where this comment was left.

Thanks for the page-view, Jose!

August 23, 2014

Anonymous says:

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After all I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!

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Kim Kardashian can go to hell and so can you.  Thanks for stopping by, though!

August 31, 2014

Anonymous says:

"Amazing! Its genuinely amazing post, I have got much clear idea about from this piece of writing.

Feel free to surf to my blog post natural weight oss pills" [link removed]

Are "weight oss pills" anything like "weight loss pills"?  Because, to be honest, I'm fat as fuck and getting fatter.  So if there is a simple, effective, inexpensive solution to that problem in pill form -- preferably one which would allow me to continue my sedentary life of blogging, buffalo-wing eating, and Coca-Cola consumption -- then I'd theoretically be interested in that.

I don't know what the hell "weight oss" is, though, so I'm steering clear.

Thanks anyways!

September 8, 2014
  
otr214423 says:
  
"INTERNATIONAL CONCEPT OF WORK FROM HOME
 
Work from home theory is fast gaining popularity because of the freedom and flexibility that comes with it. Since one is not bound by fixed working hours, they can schedule their work at the time when they feel most productive and convenient to them. Women & Men benefit a lot from this concept of work since they can balance their home and work perfectly. People mostly find that in this situation, their productivity is higher and stress levels lower. Those who like isolation and a tranquil work environment also tend to prefer this way of working. Today, with the kind of communication networks available, millions of people worldwide are considering this option.
 
Women & Men who want to be independent but cannot afford to leave their responsibilities at home aside will benefit a lot from this concept of work. It makes it easier to maintain a healthy balance between home and work. The family doesn't get neglected and you can get your work done too. You can thus effectively juggle home responsibilities with your career. Working from home is definitely a viable option but it also needs a lot of hard work and discipline. You have to make a time schedule for yourself and stick to it. There will be a time frame of course for any job you take up and you have to fulfill that project within that time frame.
 
There are many things that can be done working from home. A few of them is listed below that will give you a general idea about the benefits of this concept.
 
Baby-sitting 

 
This is the most common and highly preferred job that Women & Men like doing. Since in today's competitive world both the parents have to work they need a secure place to leave behind their children who will take care of them and parents can also relax without being worried all the time. In this job you don't require any degree or qualifications. You only have to know how to take care of children. Parents are happy to pay handsome salary and you can also earn a lot without putting too much of an effort.
 
Nursery 

 
For those who have a garden or an open space at your disposal and are also interested in gardening can go for this method of earning money. If given proper time and efforts nursery business can flourish very well and you will earn handsomely. But just as all jobs establishing it will be a bit difficult but the end results are outstanding.
 
Freelance

 
Freelance can be in different wings. Either you can be a freelance reporter or a freelance photographer. You can also do designing or be in the advertising field doing project on your own. Being independent and working independently will depend on your field of work and the availability of its worth in the market. If you like doing jewellery designing you can do that at home totally independently. You can also work on freelancing as a marketing executive working from home. Wanna know more, email us on" [email address removed] "and we will send you information on how you can actually work as a marketing freelancer.
 
Internet related work

 
This is a very vast field and here sky is the limit. All you need is a computer and Internet facility. Whatever field you are into work at home is perfect match in the software field. You can match your time according to your convenience and complete whatever projects you get. To learn more about how to work from home, contact us today on" [email address removed] "
and our team will get you started on some excellent work from home projects.
 
Diet food
 
Since now a days Women & Men are more conscious of the food that they eat hence they prefer to have homemade low cal food and if you can start supplying low cal food to various offices then it will be a very good source of income and not too much of efforts. You can hire a few ladies who will help you out and this can be a good business.
 
Thus think over this concept and go ahead."
  
This spammer earns mega bonus points in two ways: (1) he/she took the time to register an actual Blogger profile, so managed to sneak the comment past the system and get it published; and (2) he/she had the wry sense of humor to publish it on the review of Argo from nearly two years ago which I subtitled "Spammers Are Cordially Invited To Suck A Bag Of Dicks" as a means of showing my frustration over the number of spam comments I was receiving.  Well played, otr214423; well played.
  
I still deleted the fuck out of your comment, though.
  
October 7, 2014 
  
Anonymous has an invitation for us:
  
"Hello

Welcome to the ( New-World of Vampire Kingdom)Do you want to be a vampire,still in human,having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten mines time to a human again, with out delaying in a good human posture. A world of vampire where life get easier,we have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich,you will be assured long life and prosperity,you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness,stronger and also very fast,you will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, this is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture.if you are interested contact us on our email:" [address removed]
  
Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
  
November 29, 2014 
  
Anonymous is back again, and apparently wrote a poem this time, at least if his line-spacing is any indication:
  
"Landscaping includes not just the lawn, but the trees, shrubs,
sprinklers, furniture and other features of your Omaha yard.
Anytime you are considering changing your landscape, you must also thing about the structures that already stand on your property.
Chances are you rent or lease the property upon which your business is located,
and really have no idea about the types of trees and shrubs that
are planted and why they are planted where they are."
  
Well, he's no Gary Soto, but it's a step in the right direction. 
  
November 30, 2014 
  
Old Anonymous seems to have a hard-on for my review of John Carter, as he -- she? -- has left a second comment in as many days:
  
"I saw firsthand who was making money and who wasn't, what worked and what didn't, what people wanted that wasn't available and what was to easy to find but wasn't wanted. For the homeowner, recycled plastic paving stones offer several benefits. Chances are you rent or lease the property upon which your business is located, and really have no idea about the types of trees and shrubs that are planted and why they are planted where they are. Stop by my blog" [link removed]
  
Wasn't there a Radiohead song called "Recycled Plastic Paving Stones"?
  
December 5, 2014 

Daisegom writes:
  
"I am looking some for some good books during this holiday week. I love to read books in my free time and want to know which top 10 must read novels are currently so I can purchase couple of them!"

Daisegom also provides a link where such a goal might be accomplished.  No thanks, Daisegom.

December 9, 2014

Regu Vardan allows that one can "Get all the latest Telugu Movie Reviews. Read what the movie critics say and give your own rating. Find Here all complete information about Movie Telugu Film Ratings Latest Movie Reviews on" [link redacted].

These spam comments are getting lazier and more boring every time.

December 14, 2014

Anonymous says:
  
"Great police perform. Hope they get help with their substance abuse problems. Hope they've reached their bottom and are receptive to adjust. Feel free to surf to my homepage - Nike foamposites on" [link redacted].

What?

December 14, 2014

Kirsten Dunst -- yes, Kirsten Dunst! -- says:

"Kirsten Dunst Getting Fucked Angelina Jolie pussy photo gellary Sunny Leone latest hot topless photo shoot Cameron Diaz hot boobs photo gallery **Cute And Sexy Wet Katy Perry In Swimming Pool** Sexy Kristen Stewart nudu photos Onita Khan Said.............. CLICK ANY LINK OF BELOW TO SEE MORE HOT & SEXY PHOTO SELENA GOMEZ Getting Fucked MEGAN FOX BIKINI CANDIDS IN HAWAII HOT PHOTO COLLECTION Pakistani Girl's hot latest xxx videos 2014 KIRSTEN DUNST latest hot topless photo shoot Arabian Gilr's Self Nude Boobs Photo Collection MIRANDA KERR VICTORIA’S SECRET LINGERIE PHOTOSHOOT"

Many, many links removed.

Kirsten carpetbombed a number of posts with this inanity.  I hope she won't be mad at me for deleting all of her comments.  I think she's the bee's knees, but even she isn't welcome to spam me.

June 18, 2015

Molina Datta left us all a bunch of links, seemingly to Indian-centric porn sites:


Father and Daughter Enjoying Sex, Indian Incest Sex Pictures, Mallu Aunty Big Boobs White Pussy Pics


Sexy Pornstar Lisa Ann Hardcore Anal Sex, Horny Lisa Ann Hairy Pussy Busty Tits Nude Photo After Fucked


Mom sex,Arab sex,arab bhabi,arab wife,arab baby ,arab spying,arab aunty,arab mujra dance,arab belly dance,mujrara dance


Teen sex,Mom sex,indian sex,bangladeshi sex,pakistani seX,Arab sex.Anal sex,homemades sex,College sex,spying sex


Desi Group Sex 3 Boys Fucking A Desi Girl With Audio Full Video Download & Watch Now


Koleksi Awek-Awek Melayu Terlampau Dengan Gambar Dan Artikel ini mengandungi 18xxx


Sexy Mathara young girl in the bus looking for sex partner real video


Indian Village Student Anita Nude Pics By Her Bf While He Was Her Home Tutor And He Fucked Her Juicy pussy


Hot North Indian Busty Aunty Fucking With Servant In BathRoom


Muslim girls sucking uncut hindu boys dick

I figured I'd just leave all the links in this time.  Because hey, maybe you want to click them.  After all, how many opportunities do you have to see Muslim girls sucking hindu boys dick?  AND they're uncut?!?  I mean, that's a golden opportunity if ever I've heard of one.

November 1, 2015

Been a while since I got any spam comments, but aftab khatri writes:

"Treasure Madness is another standard Treasure hunting game that [link removed] recently been introduce to the Facebook neighborhood. Like the sport Treasure Isle by Zynga, this game is based mostly on treasure hunting and explorations. Nevertheless, you want to be asking what makes this game entirely distinct from any distinct treasure seeking game out there?"

Not really, no, I don't.

July 22, 2016

Jade Graham writes:

The second half follows Carter's attempts to adjust to life on the outside the prophet kahlil gibran book [link removed]

, which doesn't make any sense to me.  Eat ya some turds, Jade.

August 26, 2016

Tào Nam writes:
  
Đơn vị chuyên nhận order đặt mua hàng di động trên taobao
Công ty chuyên nhận order hàng di động trang web Taobao
Đơn vị nhận order hàng đặt đồ linh kiện trang web Taobao về Việt Nam

Which is apparently Vietnamese.  The three lines were all links, which I have obviously removed.  Gmail is giving me the option of translating it, so let's see what that means in Engrish:
  
Receiving unit order placed on Taobao mobile shopping
The company specializes in mobile customer receives order site Taobao
The unit received orders order components map site Taobao to Vietnam
  
I'll confess to being disappointed with that.  One wonders whether Nam thought spamming my Joe Hill post was the best possible way to grow his/her business.  If so, apologies for the resultant lack of business.
  
September 8, 2016 
  
Blogger -- the spammer, not (I presume) the host of this URL -- says:
  
Hello Ya'll,

Below are the most recommended BITCOIN exchangers (BUY/SELL):
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CoinMama

Earn free BITCOINS with the best BITCOIN faucet rotator:
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I've left the links in.  If it is the real Blogger, I don't want to antagonize them, lest they make The Truth Inside The Lie and You Only Blog Twice vanish like a fart in a hurricane. 
  
September 24, 2016 
  
Blogger has returned with this invitation:
  
Do you love Pepsi or Coca-Cola?
PARTICIPATE IN THE POLL [link removed] and you could get a prepaid VISA gift card!
  
The answer is Coke.  Nobody likes Pepsi.
  
I'll expect my gift card anon. 
  
October 10, 2016 
  
Moka Moh writes:

"such wondrful articl and lovelry photos thanks for posting and publishing "
  
Aww, that's sweet Moka, thanks a lot.  But I still removed the link you included, which I assume is full of viruses and annoyance. 
  
November 2, 2016 
  
Romana writes:

I finally found great post here.I will get back here. I just added your blog to my bookmark sites. thanks.Quality posts is the crucial to invite the visitors to visit the web page, that's what this web page is providing.
  
She then provides a link, which I have declined to click.   Despite that, I am gratified to know that my posts is the crucial to invite the visitors to visit the web page; it's not what I'm aiming for, per se, but I guess I'll take it.
  
November 14, 2016 
  
Blogger returns, and writes:
  
"I have just installed iStripper, so I can have the best virtual strippers on my taskbar."

I mean ... good for you, I guess?  I congratulate you on your ability to pretend it's 1996.

January 27, 2017

For our first update of the new year, I pass along to you more words of wisdom from Blogger, who tells us that:

"There's a chance you are qualified for a new government solar energy rebate program.  Discover if you are qualified now!"

There used to be a hyperlink over the word "discover," but I took it out on account of vague suspicions that it would send those who clicked it to some place they did not, in fact, wish to go.

Old Blogger, he's a persistent sod.  He's been peppering some of my other blogs lately, apparently having no idea that nobody reads them.  I mean, Where No Blog Has Gone Before is lucky if it gets more than seven pageviews a day!  I hate for a spammer to not get his money's worth out of spamming my blogs...
 
February 1, 2017
 
Jade Graham informs us that:
 
"You don't need to worry for lunch because your tourist guide will provide it for you, included on the package.  [LINK REMOVED]"
 
This seemed like good news at first, because I saw this at a time when I'd been wondering what I was going to have for lunch!  So if it's being provided, that's good news.
 
I'm still waiting for it to materialize, however, so I don't think it was the good news I hoped it was.

8 comments:

  1. That vampire one is amazing! WTF!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't that great?

      And that one, by the way, didn't go to my spam comments -- whoever left it took the time to leave it personally. (Albeit without a name, which is disappointing.)

      I think we can take him/her at face value on at least one thing: I'm SURE a virus will be delivered if you email them...

      Delete
  2. Thank you for sharing your great experience among us.

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    ReplyDelete
  3. Seriously just had to write a comment! (hopefully you won't delete me and add me to your spam list lol). I came across your blog because well, I love Stephen King, then I saw you had a page with spam comments and I had to look. I love seeing what others get as spam comments. It looks like a couple commenters tried to write entire blog posts! I am glad I am not the only one who gets a ton of spam comments (I mean I am a nurse and they are leaving links for purchasing drugs and viagra online). Thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Goodness gracious, I hate to think how much spam you blog must get!

      I find some of the spam I've gotten to be kind of charming, in an odd way. It's mostly written by people who obviously don't speak English all that well, so I imagine the people who write it sitting at their desks, desperately struggling to find a way of phrasing their inane requests in JUST the right way so as to maximize their thieving potential. I can't imagine many people fall for it, which means that their success ratio has to be very low. To my mind, that means that in a way, these spammers turn themselves into perfectionist writers in a way not all THAT dissimilar to what aspiring novelists must go through. Except that rather than trying to please publishers, these spammers are wracking their brains trying to figure out how to use a second language to con people. Some of 'em try with compliments, others try with the promise of pron, others try to come off sounding like salespeople. It's kind of adorable how inept they are.

      Delete
    2. Haha, yes, I agree. It must be a painstaking process, knowing that you spend hours trying to get your comment on a blog, only to have them continuously deleted!

      Delete
    3. Do you suppose that spammers have performance-review sessions in which their supervisors counsel them on the proper use of porn-based terminology and other similar issues? Do these poor saps have quotas they have to fill?

      I've been getting a lot of phone calls from a group of really inept con artists who, about once a week, try to convince me of one of two things: (1) that my Dell computer is sending out error messages that they can help me with or (2) that my gmail account is sending out error messages that they can help me with. They always sound so confused when I call them out for being scammers; their scripts simply don't give them any guidance for how to proceed!

      Delete